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A truly “United” experience

January 13, 2010 by Ash

Welcome to United Airlines. We have charged you the top price for our old plane which should be retiring in another year. However we want to make sure you pay for every piece that’s left in it. We understand other airlines offer newer business class seats and upgraded services but we offer a different experience. We bring back the memories of old days, limited service style and equipment. It costs us to maintain our old style and hence the price of your ticket. We guarantee that if champagne spills on a fellow passenger one of the crew members will attend when they have time. You will get attention though. We will also make sure that if a cargo door is loose, we will stop the plane when it’s half way during take off. It does not matter that service containers are not secured properly and plates and trays fall all over the place as the plane comes to a screeching halt. If we did not mention before, we do not provide timely updates regarding departure because we do not bother our customers again and again. As for in flight entertainment we provide the system where you can only watch what we play, when we play. Please use headsets provided by us because headset Jack in our seats is incompatible with any headsets manufactured in the last decade.

Lastly we want you to have some fun in the air. For this we have provided mechanical seats with 6 levers so that you can play and figure out how to get your seat adjusted. Please be safe. We hope you have a great journey and if there is anything we cannot do for you, please don’t mention it to us. Thanks for choosing United.

@ travelogue from daras

Posted in Life, Public Service, Social Networking, Travel | Leave a Comment »

Life moves on

December 22, 2009 by Ash

So Teddy died, MJ died and even the oxyclean guy died. We all have learnt death is inevitable, why the remorse? Then last month I saw a tabloid featuring Nostradamus’ prophecies that the world is coming to an end. Now compare that to the theory of natural selection – survival of the fittest. It all fits together and makes sense. What does not make sense is that why 1 million people showed up for MJ’s funeral. I am not insensitive to people’s loss but I do believe in the end. There are several species every year that are endangered and will become extinct soon. So will the humans! Only thing we can do is prolong the time period. We all want a better world for the coming generations but we need to make an effort. Agreeing with a handful of people who believe in this does not make the impact. What makes the impact is actually contributing towards it. So those 1 million people could have spent sometime doing something to make our world better instead of standing in a line for several hours to view a dead celebrity. Probably Nostradamus was smarter than we think. He read the human psyche and saw the evolution of world and understood that things are going to get worse. Hence his predictions. Believe me I want his predictions to go wrong. So again thousands of people who bought that tabloid, enjoyed the gossip story could have done something to save the world. And I am expecting all the people who read this blog will make one contribition to save the world! So let’s make sure we are not the next species in the theory of survival.

Posted in Go Green, Life | Leave a Comment »

Around the globe in two weeks

December 22, 2009 by Ash

Tokyo Tower Dec 2009

In India there is a famous saying for overseas travel “you are going across seven oceans”. There are a lot of emotions behind this especially when someone in family is going away. Overseas travel is considered going to a different world. I remember the 90’s when international travel was a big thing. Long journey across 2-3 continents with layovers would make it a 40-50 hours trip. Then the public telephones at airports with instructions in foreign languages! And leave alone the cost of making a call. “Hello dad Hello mom, I am safe and you take care. Bye”.

Now let me dash straight to 2009. I have a 3G international capable cellphone (accessory# 1). Called American Express travel for a flight from New York to New Delhi (direct flight – 14 hours) (accessory # 2). Booked a hotel and a cab using my iPhone (accessory #3). Had few credit cards in my pocket (accessory# 4). I packed a compact 22″ suitcase with four wheels (accessory #5). In less than 20 hours I travelled half way across the globe – door to door. If I were to take a train from North India to South India, that would be 36 some hours.

I spent a week in my hometown – crowded but it’s my home and I love it! Then packed the same bags again and off to Japan – the land of rising sun. In another 10 hours I was there in Tokyo. Attended several business meetings, ate in good indian restaurants and Hard Rock Cafe! I was still carrying the same cell phone, same credit cards and my digital camera (accessory #6). In these two weeks except for time zone changes, there was nothing else different in my travel – just like domestic travel.

So I travelled across the globe realizing that the world has truly become small. Thanks to new age technology, better airlines and global facilities at hotels, restaurants etc which make you feel the same way – just like home. Now some people travel for a change – they go to nature’s destinations like lonely islands or beaches. For road warriors like me, nothing can beat the home comfort. So good luck my fellow travelers, get your accessories and your bags – I will see you somewhere when I go around the globe again!

Posted in Life, Social Networking | 3 Comments »

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